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Apr 10, 2026
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The Version Without Hesitation
Rewriting Memory
Money, I chose money over education
Earning a living was a need but it had an effect
I made my way up but then I hit ceilings
I knew there was growth in me in retrospect
And no matter where I went or where I landed
I moved up in some way but couldn’t go higher
There was something missing I knew I had to get
So I’d become the one they wanted to hire
It was until that day I decided to go back
That I finally had that determination
And years after I finished my education
I think about the version without hesitation
I could have been further along my career
I should have tried harder, been harder on myself
I would have gained knowledge and been more centered
I may have provided more for everyone else
I know that these rewriting memory sessions
Are just wishes of what I could have done better
What I do want is for these to serve as warnings
For others to value time with this open letter
About This Poem
Last Few Words: NaPoWriMo2026 Day 10
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction: Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Geezer
1 week 6 days ago
I see your story...
and I believe that many will identify with it.
I did pretty much the same thing; I quit school to go to work.
So, many years later, I tried to fix it.
You did well in your rhyming, but I can see some inconsistencies in your syntax.
You say:
"I moved up in some way but couldn’t go higher". How do you go up, without going higher?
I think that you might do better to say:
I moved around, but couldn't go higher.
"It was until that day I decided to go back" could be:
Then I found the strength, I had to go back.
Then I found the strength, I had to go back.
I finally found the determination
Years after I've finished my education
I'm glad I did without hesitation
Just little things that can stop the reader and make them ask questions.
Don't make them ask, "What is he saying?" Make your statements clear, but keep them in rhyme and meter.
Your story is good, look at ways to make it smoother. ~ Geez.