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for want of

within this lifetime
too many nights
have been bereft of touch

now there is a need
to feel heart beats
against hands as skin
lay softly against skin

no longer will the hollow void
of black echo beyond white fear
be that vacuum of alone

we have fought against
the tide of time
the chains of conformity
the ease of existence

but love ignores reason,
empowers our minds
along paths of wonder

.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Melbourne, Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, Charles Bukowski, Anne Waldman

More from this author

Comments

CCfire

CCfire

14 years 1 month ago

You know I love when you

You know I love when you write I just feel this ending could be stronger..'the wonder of us' is a little too cliche and I think knowing you that you are probably searching for more than that too.Perhaps the 'steadiness' of us..just feels it needs a bigger 'aha' moment there.

4

49reasons

14 years 1 month ago

there are a couple of lines

there are a couple of lines that I am not happy with and I agree that this needs a bigger 'aha' ending but you know how my muse has been these past weeks.
thanks you x

4

49reasons

14 years ago

thank you

for reading & for your comment. I'm still fiddling with this one, not so happy with the last stanza.