flooding river

forbidden waters
makes one weak
a drowning man
knows no peace
flooding river
winding down
like a warden
grants no release

flooding river
gonna take my home
leave me
naked and alone
mean old river
so unkind
shows no mercy
leaves nothin' behind

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
[This option has been removed]

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Florida, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Lucille Clifton and Elizabeth Bishop

Comments

faithmairee

14 years ago

Dear Rosi

Thank you for your wonderful remarks. Your suggestion is a good one, On the surface this poem appears to be about a river but as Lonnie has guessed there is a hidden meaning just below the surface.

Thank you for your supportiveness, Rosi.

Love ya-

Faith

faithmairee

14 years ago

Dear Lonnie

I'm honored by your wonderful remarks. Thank you, Lonnie.

scribbler

14 years ago

Every time I try to write about a flood the poem takes longer that the event lol. You have done well describing consequences in few words. Only trip: waters make or water makes .......................stan

faithmairee

14 years ago

Dear Stan

Thank you so much for stopping by and responding to my poem. This poem is not really about a river flooding over. But thank you for the lovely compliment anyway. I do appreciate your being here.

Love-Faith

CCfire

14 years ago

Life can feel like you are

Life can feel like you are drowning sometimes so the metaphor is well used here. Nice to read you.

Eduardo Cruz

14 years ago

Faith

Well done and to the point.
Enjoyed the read.
I was wondering if you would like to join my new workshop, on poetry different forms of writing. I think you would enjoy it and get a lot out of it.
It's not time comsuming or hard.
please honor me with your agreement to join "Writing Forms workshop"

Eddie