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lou

Jun 29, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Cracked

Cracked

Fraudulent shell unyielding
tough exterior hiding internal bleeding,
frail and fractured.

Fusion of insecurities protected.
Verbal dexterity,
erecting barriers, to ward off feeling.

Splintered shards lacerate
and jab flesh,
droplets of vulnerability.

Prod and poke the meat
abrasions remain eternal,
Pulping organs.

Tough little kernal
Self healing,
Mending each fissure.

Deformed and scarred
but gives impression of
Wellbeing.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West London, GBR

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda , Jack Kerouac, Alan Ginsberg, D.H Lawrence, Jim Morrison's lyrics,

More from this author

Comments

14 years ago

Simple lines...

to produce a picture of someone about to crack! No crits. Just praise for this one! ~ Gee

14 years ago

Gee

Thank you my friend.

Love Lou

14 years ago

Jayne

LOL!!! Won't tell you to piss off , just not sure how I can flesh it out.

Love Lou

14 years ago

Jayne

i'd be interested to hear your ideas, but I hope you won't be offended if I don't use all of them.

Thank you

Love Lou

14 years ago

Jayne

Jayne,

I've used your idea for the line about internal bleeding. I didn't use your second idea, but it did inspire me to add an extra few words.

Thank you that was helpful.

Love Lou

14 years ago

You are a fine poet

and an accomplished wordcafter, you know it.
So I would like to issue you a challenge, which I also issued to Paul tonight.

Write a poem about sheer unadulterated joy, ecstasy of the proportions of epiphany.

This is my way of suggesting you could extend your range and it is a serious challenge. I have tried and believe me it is very, very hard to do.

14 years ago

Jess

Thank you, ok your on

lou

Hooded Stranger

Hooded Stranger

14 years ago

Jess

Jess,

good call, I look forward to the results.

Go for it Lou.

regards,

HS

14 years ago

Dan

Dan,

remember when we had a similar challenge? My poem was happy right up to the last line, then I decended into Hell LOL!! I'll try not to do that this time.

Lou

Hooded Stranger

Hooded Stranger

14 years ago

Lou

Lou,

yes i remember our challenge well, and yes you were happy all the way through until you fell off into hell on the last line!!

LOL!

Good luck with Jess's challenge, I hope he will also be writing a happy, joyful poem too.

regards,

HS

14 years ago

Jess

My happy poem is here http://new.neopoet.com/node/4877

Lou

14 years ago

eeeek! Do I have to write one too?

Oh crap. Really put myself in it there, but can hardly refuse. give me a few days.

14 years ago

Lol

Yes you do

Lou

Hooded Stranger

Hooded Stranger

14 years ago

A few days!

A few days! You have until the end of today!...no excuses and detention will be given out for failure to hand in your homework on time.

HS

14 years ago

Dan

LOL\!!!

Lou