Edevold

Nov 22, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Don't give me that bullcrap about trying

So, you say you tried.
Don't give me that bullshit
It didn't require
someone who'd try
and you shouldn't get in the habit
of trying anyway
just get it accomplished
display some damned
adaptibility
and some gumption
make it happen
The outcome should be determined
before you even start
and then your effort
produces a finality
and a completion
The result doesn't have to be perfect
or even pretty
what matters is that you
see it through, to
the end

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Comments

Psyve

14 years 8 months ago

Edevold

I read it a little different from Xena.

I dont think it's asking one to TRY, at all...

To the contrary, I read this as: "Dont tell me you TRIED. Just make sure you follow the task thru till the end and get it DONE!"

Enjoyed the rant.

Psyve

Race_9togo

14 years 8 months ago

I like this.

The title is good, it's what drew me to the piece. The beginning and ending are also good.
I have a completely different interpretation of this piece, though. I hear the voice of some jack-off intimidating and brow-beating. No reflection on you or the poem, the poem is very good,
getting the point across very well, but the voice, to me, is that of a bully.

brittle light

14 years 8 months ago

and may I chime in

I like the subject matter, the way it is presented, the clarity. and a definite point of view.
I don't hear the voice of a bully at all. It is the voice of exasperation, like father to son.
A bully does not explain his reasoning. Exasperation is commonly confused with anger.
Blunt, direct straight talk isn't hurtful.

this was a refreshing style to read, done well.

with respect to all

Edevold

14 years 8 months ago

Thoughtful comments all....

Thanks a bunch, I appreciate the comments and feedback.... I'm not the best at commentary myself, and I don't know alot about writing and poetry... I just sit and hammer it out now and then.... and I'm going to try - HA - to write more and more in the future.... If anyone wants to read it? That's the question.... but I'll just type it out - neither perfect or pretty .........

Race_9togo

14 years 8 months ago

Write it.

I will read it.

Kailashana2

14 years 8 months ago

Failure is not an option?

;-)

Geezer

14 years 8 months ago

Very thought...

provoking, as one can see by the comments. Liked it a lot! I can see that you will do very well, and promise to read your work often. ~ Geezer

Edevold

14 years 8 months ago

I haven't given much thought to the concept.

Experienced my share, or more than..... , if one learns something from failures??? failure is some sort of partner with doing, the failing is not what's important, learning something is,,,,,, and, anticipating failure and not making a decent start is letting failure win, or at least giving failure a headstart I could go on and on on this subject that I haven't given much thought......... So, to change the subject - Is that esoteric symbol a sideways happy face??

Victorclaude

14 years 8 months ago

Sorry is this is off the wall

Sorry if this is off the wall, but this piece reminded me of my drill instructor in boot camp. And like this piece and the DI, both want the troop or listener to do well, and exhort with vituperative language, and impatience.

There is no doubt about it -- this piece makes its point.

Pretty cool.

Victor