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if despair had a name
if he brings a midnight poem he's written
will i let him read it
will we read it a few times
out loud, as we have in the past
and if he shoots like a rocket
into the forest, igniting the fire
as he has in the past
will i want to see him again
because his voice
lifts the gray from flowers
because he says i swell and
break the silence within him
i have carried him
sleep-quiet and placed his
broken body in the arms of aphrodite
to let the shadows fall away
so i could see his heart
resembled mine
yet i want to ask him
when will i know enough
to stand still
to find our truth, love
and all the nonsensical things
before it's lost
in the maelstrom of consequence
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction: [This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
raj
13 years 11 months ago
Chez
i loved the feeling of despair expressed so very vividly in this write...
do you thing "i have cradled him" would read better?..just a wee bit of suggestion...
CCfire
13 years 11 months ago
Thanks Raj but it's carried
Thanks Raj but it's carried and placed him so cradled would mean I never put him down lol..
raj
13 years 11 months ago
Yeah...you are right about it
Yeah...you are right about it. Chez..