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WHERE I BEGAN…
Looking back at the long path
From where I came, my footprints
Left on the obscured sand of time
Imprints of soles and satellite toes
Diminishing into dotted remoteness
Disappearing on the winding path
Difficult to remember though
The people and things I first saw
The initial whimpering gasp for air
That allowed the soul to manifest
A baby, like everyone else, helpless
With guilt of sin for being born here
Complex consciousness began to record
In simple sequence, every beginning
From crying, eating to pissing and shitting
So it was with school, work and marriage
Where we met in unison, not to undo
But to help others in the early phase
It all began, this life I live, long ago
A marriage, visible and the unseen
Drawn from inexhaustible abundance
Keeps me going against the odds
Between sleep and wakeful slumber
Onward, towards the end of all roads
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
t. reflexion
13 years 11 months ago
I an T
I am glad you like this. It deals with a cycle of life, like a circle, where the end is the beginning - a snake biting its tail. We journey out to where we came from. Thank and best wishes
tr