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Race_9togo
Race_9togo
Aug 08, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Too much

rising from another crises
one more squeeze of heart
that should have killed but did not
I awake, and think of nothing

restraints untied, I feel along
the tubes and wires snaking down my throat
nurses hovering, ready to stop me
should I decide to pull

with the hardness on my fingertips
choking off my voice
I wonder why I am still alive
and wish that I was not

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.

More from this author

Comments

lou

lou

13 years 11 months ago

Hey Jim

A very depressing piece, feels very real. Feels so personal and for that reason i find it hard to critique. But I guess it has done it's job because it made me feel.

Lou

M

magics02

13 years 11 months ago

Jim

I stopped in to read this and I hope you are fine and this is not about you. If it is I send you my get well wishes. I had a feeling something was not up with you as the spirit moved me to write this comment. At this time I am unsure of the correct comment here also so I am praying you are doing okay if this is indeed about you my friend. Don't pull the chord. Continue your stronghold on whatever it is and live.

Blessings
Mona
xox

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

13 years 11 months ago

Thanks Rosi

Things are better. looks like you're doing pretty well! A good thing.

S

scribbler

13 years 11 months ago

hi Jim

I expect there are many who have been brought back to life who would have preferred not to. you captured this well. Hope not autobiographical...........stan

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

13 years 11 months ago

Hi Stan

Thanks for your comment.
I'm afraid it is, but I think the worst is now behind me, again.

M

magics02

13 years 11 months ago

Race

My dear friend this is for you and anyone else that you want to share it with. It is one of my friends. Thinking of you and soon you will be up on the mend honey. You are too good of a person to go anywhere and Ms Mona knows you will be fine

Blessings of love sent to you

Click on this link. It is relaxing and beautiful to you from me.

http://youtu.be/-fnzXdmvRmw

Magics Mona

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

13 years 11 months ago

Thanks Mona

Much appreciated. Hopefully, I'll get back to writing more frequently, in a bit.

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

13 years 11 months ago

Dear Jim

You've no idea how frightening this piece is! But very well written. I hope that all is well with you. Today is the first anniversary of my death and rebirth. I am thinking of you.

always, Cat

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

13 years 11 months ago

Hey thanks Cat,

Its good to see how you have overcome that illness. I'm nearly there too!

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

13 years 10 months ago

Dear Jim,

I just came by to see how you are fairing. Are you having a busy summer? It will be good have you back again. Take care.

always, Cat

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

13 years 10 months ago

Hey Cat,

I'm doing better, almost ready to go back to work.
Actually, more than ready; I'm going nuts twiddling my thumbs at home!
Thanks.

K

Kailashana2

13 years 10 months ago

Did you not think God or Love

Did you not think God or Love would be not in the bottom of your despair?

That's what makes poets....lot's of dark nights of the soul! Though after awhile, like drunks,
we get sober.

May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.

~A

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

13 years 10 months ago

lol

The gods are always at the bottom of it!

Thanks Anna

D

Dalton

13 years 10 months ago

Hi Jim

This is a true story? Well take comfort there are many here who care for you in your sorrow and joy. Altogether this write certainly made me care for the author. So I guess it did its job as well as yourown catharsis. Sorry there is no crit but I don't see there is any necessary.

John

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

13 years 10 months ago

Thanks John

Yeah, its true. My heart tries to kill me every couple of years, but I keep giving it the finger! lol
Not so bad this time though.

Thanks man.

weirdelf

weirdelf

13 years 10 months ago

I seldom re-write a poem, but need to here.

rising from another crises
one more squeeze of heart
that should have killed but did not
I awake, and think of nothing [more]

restraint[s]s untied, I feel along
the tubes and wires snaking down my throat
nurses hovering, ready to stop me
should I decide to pull [it out]

with the hardness on my fingertips
choking off my voice
I wonder why I am still alive
and wish that I was not.

[Now I'm going to add my own verse.]

There is only my addiction
to my perfectly addition
why die when life gives more?
You sad, sorry sore.

Fogive me. I have lived the ideation of suicide and it's bloody stipid here.

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

13 years 10 months ago

Jess

Frankly, I dislike it when other's do re-write's of my work.
But when you do it, I set aside my trepidation and annoyance, and read without bias.

I like your last verse; it is you through and through. But I will not change what I have, as it is me.
In the first two stanzas, I think adding words makes the piece too prosaic, which as you know - having been one of those poets who taught me this - I work diligently to avoid.
So I think I'll leave things as they are, but do not, please, stop telling me what you think, and how you think things should change. You insight and expertise are things I value a great deal, and often show themselves in my work.
Thank you my friend.

weirdelf

weirdelf

13 years 10 months ago

my sincere apologies.

I normally only do this when there are so many corrections to be made it is easier to copy the poem into the reply and add the corrections there.

You deserve more respect than this.