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LONG AND SHORT SLEEVES
These amputees you see
Along the streets of Freetown
Made their choices to stay alive
When the rebels asked them
To choose between the two
Long or short sleeves
And they cut off their hands
Accordingly
The wrist for a long
And elbow for a short
When Ben encountered them
He refused to select any sleeve
They tied him up
And cut off both his wrists
He begged them to kill him
Instead of being a burden
They put him in the boot of a car
And burnt him alive
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
weirdelf
13 years 10 months ago
Not a poem
A tale of horror.
No prosodic values.
raj
13 years 10 months ago
A soft title for a hard tale
A soft title for a hard tale of woes and profound sadness...