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Aug 12, 2011
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ARTERIAL CURE
ARTERIAL CURE
Alternative tradition implies
What goes up must come down
See the waiting wonders
My aunt in the village
Prepared some medicine
For reducing hypertension
In these times of stress
She collected tree barks
By seven shrines
On seven hills
Over seven nights
From seven witch doctors
She brewed them in dry gin
With seven leaves
In seven pots
For seven days
A friendly witch offered
A helping hand to treat
The malady of crooked nerves
Banish rheumatism
And make you young again
If you are interested
I will bring some samples
For your drinking pleasure
And after a sip
Of this elixir
Handed down to me
With a sacred oath
To keep and protect
From the profane
All you will see
Is celestial glories
No worries
No problems
No loss of manhood
You see what I mean
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
weirdelf
13 years 10 months ago
Now this is good poetry
The meaning is strong, the value is clear and it shits in the eye of Western doctors. I love it.
t. reflexion
13 years 9 months ago
Thank you
Medicine like this abound in our different cultures. I admire the progress made in china on alternative medicine and wish ours could be incorporated into the mainstream. These traditional medicines are not usually regulated in its application which often lead to abuse. Research and development, funded by the government is needed to bring traditional practice to an acceptable level with orthodox medicine.
Your encouragement is appreciated.
tr