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The Encore
(following http://new.neopoet.com/node/broadway-lovesick-puppies )
..you and me,
that’s all.
the stage is set-
for the second coming,
as I take center-stage
I am
illuminated,
by the spotlight
irradiated,
by the eyes.
imperceptible
in disguise.
the curtain’s lifting
the fog, settling
the lights, dimming.
the spotlight, shifting
to your face.
I act,
for in this act,
I get to touch your lips
with mine.
conceivably, at a point during this act,
my stunted heart started beating for you.
perhaps, gone unnoticed.
by the deafening roar of the crowd
applauding,
cheering,
enticing,
the phony development
of a pseudo-love
cloaking a true love.
(final part of the three poem set can be found here http://new.neopoet.com/node/denouement )
About This Poem
Last Few Words: this poem follows http://new.neopoet.com/node/broadway-lovesick-puppies part two of a three part set
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Eduardo Cruz
13 years 11 months ago
keep going,
this is good, you're capturing the moment perfectly in this act of poetry.
Bravo!!
Eddie
dhruv
13 years 11 months ago
thank you for the comments,
thank you for the comments, mate :)