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weirdelf
weirdelf
Aug 15, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Killing God (with rev with audio)

Killing God

I worked at a drive-in theatre
years ago
before they died.
not a bad job
lots of movies.
Some tedious tasks,
I had to check every speaker in the field.
Turn up volume,
listen,
move to next post.
Turn up volume,
listen,
move to next post.
Turn up volume,
listen,
move to next post.
five
hundred
times.

That day the light was yellow, electric,
turbulent clouds roiling ominously.
I stopped,
transfixed.
Staring at the half-brick in my hand.
Where the hell did that come from?
I looked around, bemused.
Five rows back at the edge of the field
was a small pile of rubble.

I smiled gently,
perhaps a little wickedly.
Of course.
In the middle of a field of metal posts,
an electric storm brewing.
If lightning strikes,
if there is a judgemental god,
I will meet that prick
armed with a half-brick.

to hear the live reading click
https://soundcloud.com/jess-tapper/killing-god

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Sydney, Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: The Romantics, The Mersey Sound, The Beats and, of course, The Bard

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

brittle light

brittle light

13 years 11 months ago

I would read a full book of

I would read a full book of this particular rhetorical and artistic style/ form ( and content). Engrossing
Off the beaten path while remaining so readable (unconscious craftwork). Refreshing, and stisfying.

violet

violet

13 years 11 months ago

...

I adore this.

A refreshingly honest/no bullshit piece
complete with a little sardonic
kick in the ass in those last lines.

I applaud your skill

...

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

13 years 11 months ago

Jess!

if there is a judgemental god,
I will meet that prick
armed with a half-brick.

LOL!!! I love this! (and what a tedious job) You do reminisences very well.

always, Cat

weirdelf

weirdelf

13 years 11 months ago

thanks Cat,

Yes, I'm not above using a little shock value, sometimes even make it work
teehee

Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

13 years 10 months ago

Jess,

The idea of the brick is funny, because we know he is already dead. No power in anyones head, at lease those that see the truth of the brick. The brick might be god in some culture. I am sorry I had to go to the mindless place of the brick. Nothing to say but lots of power in someones head. bad joke I guess But i am Laughing.
This was so good, you sneaky Savanah Beach.
Eddie

Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

13 years 10 months ago

Jess

here's there reply:
BRICK, BRICK, BRICK. 500 times and still it can't be heard.

Eddie

weirdelf

weirdelf

10 years 11 months ago

ok

I'll try a bazooka

S

scribbler

13 years 10 months ago

hi

It appears that in midst of listening for defective speakers you heard a caution from another speaker..........stan

weirdelf

weirdelf

13 years 10 months ago

before

and the fucker has never smote me. I was clumsy.

William Saint George

William Saint George

13 years 8 months ago

Delightful

I must say the title caught my attention, and I was eager to explore the hostility of the piece. I'm glad it wasn't stressed throughout the poem, and was effectively used in the last line.

Also glad I didn't see any swear words till the end of the poem. That last, rhyming couplet has an attractive edge to it.

Something about the poem speaks of suicide, which is a subject I'm quite acquainted with. The audacity of the poem is quite appealing, as is the manner in which it is written. I'm yet to come across a name of this sort of writing, but then the fact that the subject is only approached from a distance (well, sort of) and is not explicitly said in a prosaic manner pleases me.

Just to satisfy my curiosity, are you an atheist?

weirdelf

weirdelf

13 years 8 months ago

Thanks for the thoughtful review, William.

Atheist. Yes. Hostility? Well, only to judgmental, patriarchal, jealous deities and organised religions built around them.

My use of profanity, though far more frequent than most, is very considered, I use certain words without hesitation when I feel they are the right words in the right place. From puerile curiousity the other day I did a site search on the 'c' word and found 6 instances, 5 of them mine.

Suicide? One could perhaps infer an unconscious death wish, but I hope the vitality of the ending belies that.

'I'm yet to come across a name of this sort of writing', it's freeform poetry, mate. I doubt many would really argue that. I seldom use strict metric or rhyming forms, though I'm certainly capable, see 'Noisance' and 'Corporate Villanelle'

Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

11 years 9 months ago

Jes

Hahaha!!
I love you man, talk about metaphorically speaking. I want to be the brick (prick in others eyes)

Eddie
PS I can't stop laughing...

loved

loved

11 years 9 months ago

brick rhymes with prick ...as also with dick

''''''if there is a judgemental god,
I will meet that prick
armed with a half-brick..'''''............the other half eh!

marvelous ...

however you could only get a sliced one
b or p or d....................----
I just wonder how
lovely work urs
This one i have copied for my desk
and laptop to digest

William Saint George

William Saint George

11 years 8 months ago

Jess

I finally listened to the audio of this poem. It is brilliant.

I have one question though, what makes this spoken word? I sounds more like a simple reading of your poem!

Good job!

violet

violet

11 years 8 months ago

.

Nice to hear this poem too.

S

scribbler

11 years 8 months ago

Hmmm....

By not explaining a bit better how your half brick came to suddenly be in your hand, you leave a bit of the supernatural in the poem. Just thought I'd point out the illogic of that lol. Ps just realized I forgot to applaud the imagery you used.........stan

weirdelf

weirdelf

11 years 8 months ago

I thought that well explained in the verses

"Where the hell did that come from?
I looked around, bemused.
Five rows back at the edge of the field
was a small pile of rubble.

I picked it up unconsciously, as defense, obviously not against lightning, but just in case. And no, I am not agnostic, I am atheist, but who can blame someone for feeling vulnerable in a an open field of metal posts during a thunderstorm. I was not just defying god, but death itself.

I

IKnowNoBox

11 years 2 months ago

Sadly the voice recording

is no longer active on that site, but I can still somewhat hear your voice reading this.

Christopher Hitchens would grin at this poem, indeed so would Mr. Dawkins.

In ink,
David

weirdelf

weirdelf

11 years 2 months ago

thanks David

great to see you!
Ah, I wondered how long Vocaroo recordings would last. I will re-record using Soundcloud soon.

Ian.T

Ian.T

11 years 2 months ago

Jess

I have heard this from some place that is your reading of it.
Can I ask you to read a great classic poem as an example to all that are here of the reasons for many to follow their writings.
Hope you are doing OK out there Winter is coming and the cool air will be a blessing,
Yours Ian.T

L

Lonnie

11 years 2 months ago

Hey Jess,

I may not agree with your convictions, but I certainly cannot fault your poetic abilities! This is very readable, has powerful imagery, and pulls no punches! Nice work!