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Self-employed Overtime
In a sea of mediocrity
there are exceptions on this earth,
where integrity, and personal values
show a legacy that has worth.
A struggling, single mother
continually does her best,
completing what's in front of her
like taking some weird test.
Wearing hats a plenty
She attempts to complete tasks,
from her pedestrian existence
before her boss has time to ask.
Being a minority
helped land her at this job,
neither does she sing for joy
nor have private time to sob.
Her tired hands are chapping
her fingers, all did swell;
she's grateful for her blessings
but so tired of this place called "hell".
No other family to speak of
she leans not on anyone,
because the difficult times she sees now
have only just begun.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction: Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Roscoe Lane
13 years 11 months ago
The subject,
The subject of this poem is quite unique, it's the first time i've read about it on Neopoet. And you have captured what must be a very difficult life, perfectly. Just one or two bits need ironing out i'd say, but otherwise a great subject and poem. Regards Roscoe...
docmaverick
13 years 11 months ago
Thank-you, Roscoe....
...for that. I greatly appreciated your "take" on this idea, I had.....and, you're right, it most probably does need some tweaking.
Thanx again,
docmaverick.
weirdelf
13 years 10 months ago
Is your Chisianity is the cause of you loss of poetry?
I wonder
docmaverick
13 years 10 months ago
Dunno....
...is your atheism the cause of loss of your humor, understanding, and other qualities human? I had a desktop computer stolen, along with 2 fuckin' laptops that I'm still paying for...so, I've heeded the words of my "one-time mentor", not to write something, and call it a poem.......when, it is but a "rant". Sorry 'bout the expletive.....forgive me; but I haven't heard anyhing good come out of YOUR pen, either.......of late.
weirdelf
13 years 10 months ago
ooops and terribly sorry,
ooops and terribly sorry,
believe it or not I put this comment on the wrong poem.
This one is good.