Touch of Grief

Felt by someone so distant
Australia to California,
Must be like silken threads
Stretched across the oceans
Like invisible ones
Carrying a deep lamentation
A love of passion in a communion,
Unknown to any

The loss as was so obvious
Perhaps to whom it mattered
There was no indication.

Take glory in the fact
That you can weave such lovely poetry
Ah!
How I wish
I could also

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: ROU

Comments

loved

13 years 10 months ago

thanks

this was a comment
on someones poetry i read here
yesterday

weirdelf

13 years 10 months ago

I love this, beautifully written

and a universal concept.

Only one suggestion and a query.

Leave "poetic" out of the title, it is poetic anyway and it limits your audience by addressing only poets.

Aslo I wonder about the line
Perhaps the mom indication was absent
mom as in mother? How does that fit in? Is it necessary?

loved

13 years 10 months ago

thanks

shall...

weirdelf

13 years 10 months ago

You know I often visit you works

The ones you sholdn't post or work on them first and then maybe post are your strengths. Trust us, even, you have monents of brilliance like most of us.

I ask you. Have you been doing a course or something?

Whatever. I have asked and asked again, that you post real, honest feedback.
A response in the form of verse is seldom uselful.

You can express your truth in plain english. Please do it for the honest and integrity of all of us on the site.

loved

13 years 10 months ago

I don't mean to hurt anyone here Sir.

All my life I have composed
Through the darkness of the eerie nights,
When the mind is free
Without any inhibitions
And
When I read some ones poetry
I get my own vision
And
Compose that's all.
If you don’t like me
At least I thank thee,
For seeing the ray,
Nay streak of brilliance
That you do say,
Comes once amongst a billion rays
Many dawns have lapsed,
My lonely pathway
That’s about all what I can say
Have your happy day
As always my POETIC master
You will for ever stay…

weirdelf

13 years 10 months ago

you did it again

poems give no useful feedback. Talk plain english

loved

13 years 10 months ago

ok

shall