Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Sep 04, 2011
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Gift (love poem for emotions workshop)
Gift
(dedicated to Shirley Harrison on her wedding)
diving into liquid velvet
surrounded by translucent light
a feeling of slowly falling
into the darkened sky of night
the million cares of the day
so worrisome in their plight
fall away with the setting sun
taking wing with angel's flight
I hear your voice so clear
in the cunning darkness falling
It comes to me in ecstasy
I hear your deep voice calling
promises of sweet retreat
I see them in your eyes
like the gathering of moonbeams
I reply in gentle sighs
this special time to spend with you
Is all I ever need or ask
in this time of evening sweet
we strip away our masks
we will lay under the sky
with moon and starlight streaming
kisses sweet we will repeat
while all the world lies dreaming
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This piece is a love poem without the use of the word "love", for the emotions workshop. It is also a dedicated to Shirley Harrison for her wedding.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
lou
13 years 10 months ago
Cat
Makes love seem so wonderful, and not a mention of love.
lou
Candlewitch
13 years 10 months ago
Hi Lou,
LOL! Then I have acheived my purpose! Thanks so much.
always, Cat
Candlewitch
13 years 10 months ago
Dear Chrys,
I damned near killed myself on the anger poem, LOL! I guess I was too angry! But, I am very happy with the way this poem turned out. Shirley has told me that she put it into her wedding book!
always, Cat
loved
13 years 10 months ago
please convey our memories to SHIRLEY
Do remember us also always
lovedly
do convey
to Shirley
Candlewitch
13 years 10 months ago
Hi Loved,
Shirl knows and is grateful to have friends like you. Thanks!
always, Cat
loved
13 years 10 months ago
Grateful
Grateful is one
Who loves the worth of another one?
So as we all on the Internet move,
Some new ones arrive,
Few go,
Others who miss the fun
Do often return
Hopefully, till the sunrises each morn
And
The horizon isn't forlorn,
The skies remain blue,
As much as the sea
I’m quite sure Neopoet
Will many elite poets see?
Those who finally bring us all
To lime light
And
Hope we all add
A wee bit of our mite
Candlewitch
13 years 10 months ago
Dear Eph,
Thank you for your suppost and the kindness of your offer. I am in touch with the darling girl through e-mail. I wuish her only the best life has to offer.
always, Cat
raj
13 years 10 months ago
Cat
very gentle poetry with lots of depth..the words caress like ripples lapping at two swans in love
this will surely make Shirley's heart throb and thrill her as she readies for her wedding...a lovely gift she will treasure....i suggest you write it on a greeting and send it by snail mail...she would love that absolutely...
Candlewitch
13 years 10 months ago
Dear Raj,
Your idea is brilliant! I wish I had thought of it sooner. But I already sent it to her in an e-mail. She told me that she copied it out and is putting it in her wedding book.
Thanks anyway, Cat