hangover

My break/fast coff/ee tastes/ like dry/ing mud.

I sip /and choke /and cough,/ my eyes/ all tears.

Last night /was fun,/ I wish /I could/ recall /

Just what/ the hell/ I drank/ after/ those beers

just one tiny thing after

See how it breaks the meter?

Sharpened up your meter stick didn't ya,
and had fun doing it, or at least the night
before (lol)

thanks Tam, it seems almost perfect to my
ear.

Fun poem on a not-so-fun-hangover.

It seems to me that an extra word would make it *sound better*.

,

My breakfast coffee tastes like [[dried out]] mud.
I sip and choke and cough, my eyes all tears.
Last night was fun, I wish I could recall
Just what the hell I drank after [[all]] those beers

~A

I suppose there's a simultaneous need for meter and ear for poetry.

Last night was fun, I wish I could recall
Just what the hell I drank after [all] those beers.

But I know

Hope ya'll don't mind me dropping in. This poem pretty clearly illustrates the play and pay thing lol. Seems all these technical terms being used are simply words used to describe different orders of accented syllables. Like all trades a language has been brought into being in order to describe in one word what might take a paragraph to convey in plain language. Like in construction, one could say a vertical spaced support member contained within a wall which bears a load from above. Or simply wall stud.................stan

this is a tough exercise, just focus on one of them.
Did you see my comment on the workshop page about gerunds and present participles?
Also Google 'trochaic meter examples'
it's the stress at the start and unstressed at the end of the line that gives trochaic it's distinctive sound