The Inhumanly Maniacal

Lacking their integrity and,
credibility-less,

what can start as a summer rain
can leave one's heart, a mess.

It's taking quite a toll on me
and left my heart in disrepair,

it's really such an evil curse
this damned ability to care.

My own knowledge of some truths, of late
have hurt me to my "core",

it's so difficult to comprehend
folks I care for being so morally poor.

I received an accommodation
a "badge" of merit, if you will;

I've a purple, pacemakered, bleeding heart
so no matter, it'll keep beating...still.

Which turns out to be another curse
one much worse, and inhumane;

now, I cease to be a romantic with a broken heart
and become, just another of the insane!

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: The High Desert, in the wild west, southern California, U.S. of A.., USA

Favorite Poets: Keates, Poe, Dickinson, and Dr. Seuss. There are a smattering of others, but why bother listing 'em all, ya know?, I also rely on a few of our poets, here....for advice, and what not. I couldn't possibly explain what a fountain of live, effective knowledge we have...right here in our midst ! To catch a glimmer of brilliance, merely visit: the Stream.

Comments

wesley snow

13 years 9 months ago

Now that's more like it.

I did not like the liberties you took with your meter. The poem would have been better served with a bit more consistency.
BUT...the subject went from exposition through a clean complication, climaxed and resolved with a cynical humor I expect of you.

Oh. In line five I think you meant "toll".
wesley

wesley snow

13 years 9 months ago

Hey, what did you do?

This read completely different. I wish I had the first to compare. Slick. wesley

docmaverick

13 years 9 months ago

Well, to answer BOTH of you, two Wes's....

...I found myself, (after re-reading both of your comments); "straightening, and re-straightening" my desk....as I thought about them...and, it became as clear to me as, the invisible man in my head is; I "straightened", "dusted", and "swept" all of "my vernacular rubble"....under, the "proverbial" carpet.
Now, my dilemma is, which of you two Wes's deserves the "credit/blame"?
I'm soo damned funny.....to me.
An appreciative "nod" towards your encouraging ways.
thanx, sincerely;
doc.