Understanding

Forsaken moments ravage sour memories
forced to form a never-ending yearning
that excruciating agony has carefully sewn
to keep me bound to his own tiny headstone

There's understanding Chronos does not heal
but forms a scar that, with time, simply fades
to every other's vision but my own
and sometimes I have fancy that he's been betrayed

The All Great Healer is Himself a hypocrite
It does not, I have found, truly get easier
but simply wrapped and bandaged 'til familiar -
therefore made to seem soothed, benevolent -
thus becomes bearable, less bitter

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story

Comments

weirdelf

14 years ago

fuckin brilliant

well crafted but still raw with emotion, no poet can strive for more.

I guess you know the line-
and sometimes I have fancy that he's been betrayed
is a bit clunky.
its a big change, you might have to look for one like
and I think he may well have been betrayed

judyanne

14 years ago

thanks so much jess

i do see that line is chunky
- anything shorter i have tried doesn't say it...

i decided to leave the length... it does come out as triplets...
and it makes the reader (or at least it makes me :) ) pause at the end of that stanza
- hopefully alowing the digesting of the previous before the next point....
- lol - do let me know if you disgree xx
love judy

Candlewitch

13 years 11 months ago

Dear Judyanne,

Yes... as Jess says, it is a brilliant piece!

There's understanding Chronos does not heal
but forms a scar that, with time, simply fades
to every other's vision but my own
and sometimes I have fancy that he's been betrayed

always, Cat

judyanne

13 years 6 months ago

thanks so much cat

so glad you liked this
love judy
xxx

Roscoe Lane

13 years 11 months ago

Try,

Try taking (and) away at the beginning of lines 8 and 12, other than that i agree it brilliant. Regards Roscoe...

judyanne

13 years 6 months ago

thanks roscoe

i like your suggestion re line 12 - done that
but if i remove 'and' from line 8 i feel it upsets the rhythm -
thanks so much for the great comments and suggestion

love judy