Pretility

I met someone so lovely
just, the other night;

she was sort of a princess
at least, I think I've got that right.

Then, there was a distinct prettiness
to which, we'd all adhere;

supposedly to erase the mess
of which, I'm not real clear !

We all go on our journeys
of that, you can depend;

rarely do we get an inkling
if we ever earn a friend.

'Tis we, ourselves that edit
by what we say, and what we do;

through all the grey, we make our way;
to prove what we think, true.

And after all the hoop-lah
and when all is said, and done;

cling fast, to all the laughter
that's how we know the battles, won !

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: The High Desert, in the wild west, southern California, U.S. of A.., USA

Favorite Poets: Keates, Poe, Dickinson, and Dr. Seuss. There are a smattering of others, but why bother listing 'em all, ya know?, I also rely on a few of our poets, here....for advice, and what not. I couldn't possibly explain what a fountain of live, effective knowledge we have...right here in our midst ! To catch a glimmer of brilliance, merely visit: the Stream.

Comments

weirdelf

13 years 9 months ago

my dear old mate,

we've been sort of working together for years now, at least that's how I think of it. I hope I've been some help to you during that time. I know I've shamefully ignored a lot of your work lately, forgive me, I glance in and see these jingly rhymes and 'inspirational' themes and just walk away.

You deserve better. You are better. Do me a favour? Try a new poem without rhyme. I remember some of your best work was when you got an idea and wrote it with the music in the language, not the rhyme, and the ideas more fully explored without lyrical constraints.

I know you have trouble getting time online at the moment, but if you get a chance drop in to the workshop on rhyme and have a look at the stuff on assonance and consonance, I think you would find it valuable.

docmaverick

13 years 8 months ago

elfman....

...I may have to start noting in the title area, when I post a free-verse poem. The one before, and the one after "Pretillity" are such poems. Maybe you could help me in that area.
thanx,
doc.

weirdelf

13 years 8 months ago

oops,

oops,
I shall have to pay more attention,
sorry