Candlewitch

Oct 29, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Moon Dance

moon dance

dark heavens
hold soft petite
intermittant clouds
moving slowly
on gentle breezes
float leisurely aside
revealing
the silver white
of a copious orb
low in the sky
seemingly
almost within
loving reach
I want to claim it
as my own
as I waltz
to the tune
the moon has inspired
within my soul

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda, Jim Morrison, the whole of Neopoet and many more.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

lou

13 years 8 months ago

Cat

Awsome, a fabulous use of voculary.
Love the whole thing.

love Louise

Candlewitch

13 years 8 months ago

Dear Louise,

Thanks for your read and support.

love, Cat

Geremia

13 years 8 months ago

extraordinary ! A whirling

extraordinary ! A whirling dance of words and images.

joe

Candlewitch

13 years 8 months ago

Thanks Joe! Your comment is

Thanks Joe! Your comment is appreciated.

always, Cat

raj

13 years 8 months ago

Dearest Cat

this creates a sublime image and mood of a soul in peace...i loved its feel...

Candlewitch

13 years 8 months ago

Dear Raj,

Thank you. My words do indeed reflect my inner being :)

always, Cat

Candlewitch

13 years 8 months ago

Hey there Rosi!

It would be my pleasure to dance with you! Thank you for the comment and the dance!

Love, Cat

scribbler

13 years 6 months ago

Hi Cat

a smooth effortless read..............stan

Nordic cloud

13 years 6 months ago

"Copious orb"

"moving slowly
on gentle breezes
float leisurly aside
revealing..."

moving
float......!
revealing
the rhythm wouldn't be disturbed by the ING.

..the silver white of A copious orb

personally I don't like the "loving reach" another word for loving.

I like the ending.

liesurEly.

I like the "Copious orb" sometimes it appears so extra large.

Ann.

Candlewitch

13 years 6 months ago

Dear Ann

Thank you for reading and suggesting changes. I have utilized most of them. I can't think of a change for "loving" at the moment, but I will work on it. I'm terrible at spelling and I wish neo had a spell checker for our posts. I'm glad you liked the ending.

always, Cat