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Nov 09, 2011
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Most Manly Ones
Most Males
Have more breadth
At their waste lines
Than length
Fully sea-able down below
Lovely take some help of trick photography
And
Become your desired one
Pawn....of sexology
And
A modern celebrity
We all love
And
Yet disown
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
weirdelf
13 years 8 months ago
Have you ever considered learning a bit of prosodic craft?
Short lines do not a poem make.
Musicians need to learn to play their instruments.
Painters need to learn their craft.
I believe you could say a great deal more if you learned some basics of prosody (prosody- the study of poetic metre and of the art of versification, including rhyme, stanzaic forms, and the quantity and stress of syllables)
Those tiny lines could be expanded into expansive thoughts.
Just a suggestion.
loved
13 years 8 months ago
Thanks I am
still learning