Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Candlewitch
Candlewitch
Nov 11, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Rain (inspired by Kailishana's Om Shanti Om)

Rain

rain droplets
intermittent patter
wet splotches on the ground
not yet committed
to downpours deluge
somewhere nearby
an open window
I detect the strains
of guitar music
plucked from minor chords
an accompanying voice
lifts me from my reverie
leaving my melancholy
somewhere behind me
unexpected passion
comes to me this night

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Thank you Kailishana

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda, Jim Morrison, the whole of Neopoet and many more.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

13 years 8 months ago

Dear Rosi,

I do not know the song, but I looked up the lyrics and they are beautiful. I am glad you liked this piece. Thank you.

always, Cat

R

raj

13 years 8 months ago

Dearest Cat

the most innocent, exciting, resonating, rhythmic, vibrant musical notes are created by natural elements isn't it? that's what you have brought out so nicely in this write...

much love..

K

Kailashana2

13 years 8 months ago

I love rain and it seems so

I love rain and it seems so do you, Cat. Lovely emotive poem. Inspiration is the greatest gift to be given and to give. It's what life is about...connections of the *spirit* (in spirit ation).

The last sentence I wonder did you mean come?

lifts me from my reverie
leaving my melancholy
somewhere behind me
unexpected passion
came to me in the night

or
come to me, the night..
or come to me this night.

I love the *not yet committed*....rain as a relationship. Cool! May we all be inspired by one another. May we all grow our poetry. It needs rain and sun. ;-)

~A

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

13 years 8 months ago

Dear Anna,

Thanks for reading and for the suggestion! I think it makes it better.

always, Cat

loved

loved

13 years 8 months ago

As I read your rhythmic poem,

My hearts
A-rhythmical motion
Was set to pace,
with your laudable poetry

I hate to waste time
But when I applaud,
I am genuinely sincere,
You are extremely gifted

loved

loved

13 years 8 months ago

Very few appreciate me,my poetry here on Neopoet...

mostly some are bold to say ,
i know nothing of poetry ,
which I myself acclaim
But still you are kind to say....................

.....'''''''And you are .....genuinely ......appreciated by me!'''''

Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

13 years 6 months ago

Serenade in the night

Lovely captured rain splotches,
they fall so big and seem to tell us of something to anticipate
and here you do,
sitting quietly watching,
the strains of plucked strings,
like the rain drops patterns
reaches your ears
and fills you with passion.

Ann.