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Nov 21, 2011
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bed and breakfast rooms, free-range birds out on limb, peering in
a thousand rainbows, a thousand days
not one of them without you
not much pillow talk
that isn't a funerary dirge
motivational tapes
gestating in leaves yet to unfurl
their victories
after the talking, undefined, unrefined,
uncalculated sex. hot. gravid. real.
there is nowhere that is not touched;
I still like you and we never emerge from desire,
craving the constant, illusive "it",
shapeshifters two,
it's complicated and yet it isn't
shapes, sounds colours and forms within forms
we build nests, not walls,
spaceships, not self-defeating programs
replicating thin eggshells in alternate realities,
After sex a well-polished apple....bite hard and long, savor.
(Thanks Barry, Theo and Terry for the inspiration.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: ok. what u think? ~A
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Bonitaj
13 years 8 months ago
Anna!
There's just so much to appreciate about this piece! The clever use of metaphor, the repitition of negatives to enhance the opposite! Why the very unfolding of the tale.... BUT! the title! It reminds me of the adage: 'what you say speaks so loudly, I can't hear you!'.
IMO it detracts a lot of mystery and magic from the poem. Please reconsider!
Thanks
PP
Kailashana2
13 years 8 months ago
Well, it's six of one and
Well, it's six of one and half a dozen of another. Some folks won't read it because, and some folks will read it just because, dear Boni.
Much like a bird in the hand, so to speak.
However, the poem was meant to disguise the fact that the world is our nest, and we've been shitting in it for a long long time. Love, however, is the last vestige of a free-range bird.
;-)
~A
p.s. I knew the title was not quite appropriate, if I or someone else concludes a better, more expedient, prudent title, I'll gladly reconsider.
If only on Tuesdays. ;-)
Bonitaj
13 years 8 months ago
Coincidentally
I'm reading a publication on some psychological treatise called: "THE BAD EDITION" which brought me to suggest THE BED EDITION to you... ;)
See what you think! I certainly think it's enigmatic enough to draw in some readers, without offending others ! ;)
Cheers
Boni
Bonitaj
13 years 8 months ago
Smiles!
love all the choices A! Let's see what the others think!
Boni
Geezer
13 years 8 months ago
How about...
Birds in the Hand? I get the simile now, but it took you telling me. ~ Gee