Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Facilitator Of A Dream
When my clear skies
Were occupied by clouds
The monotony mixed with
 Irrational thinking kicked in  
When rejection exchanged her vows
 You were their holding faith
 Like a dose of penicillin
 to a wounded Soldier
  in need of relief 
Yes, you made a bridge out of
The torn pieces of my soul
 Somehow you convinced
 The sun to shine once more
You took the weight on my shoulder
 And offered me shelter from
 The world that swallowed me up
 And spit me out like spoiled milk 
Yes, thank you is what most would say
But this isn’t typical hospitality
 It’s more like a miracle
 In the last minute
I asked my pen to
 Make words into symphonies
 For the guy with the plan
  When all other ideas failed
You know who you are
 But if you need a clarification
  You’re the facilitator
   Of the dream
  That still makes me smile
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
 
                
Comments
Nichole
13 years 11 months ago
WOW
I really like this write!!! Good going Paul, Keep up the amazing writing!!!! LIKE LIKE LIKE!!!!! :-)
Geezer
13 years 11 months ago
Yes Paul!...
you are becoming better and better each time you post! Lots of imagery here. My favorite lines are:
You took the weight on my shoulder
And offered me shelter from
The world that swallowed me up
And spit me out like spoiled milk.
The image it gives me, is total rejuection! I can't think of a better way to express feeling so dejected.
~ Gee
scribbler
13 years 11 months ago
hi
It's really amazing the difference the right person can make in one's life isn't it. I'm no free verse expert but I enjoyed this poem. I will offer 2 alternative for you to think on and use or disgard as you see fit:
You took the weight OFF my shoulder
.......world that HAD swallowed me up
just a couple of ideas..........stan