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Dec 05, 2011
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CLOSE YOUR EYES
Close your eyes,
For one simple moment feel free.
Close your eyes,
Remember these words that flow within me.
Enchanted I scream
And cold mornings
Vanish for an eternity.
Alone in solitude,
This day shall not,
Will not I scream.
This day will not confine you.
Close your eyes and remember these words,
I pray you, listen,
In these times I will remind you.
Close your eyes,
Tears gone cold.
Allow this day not an eternity,
Allow this moments dream a reality.
One single moment this day,
In heart you shall not feel old
I pray you believe.
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
wesley snow
13 years 7 months ago
Stunning.
I mean really. I couldn't help you improve this one if my soul required it.
Oh wait,
"Allow this moments dream a reality." I think here "moment's" is possessive.
Okay, I'm done. No more typos and the poem is too stunning for me to mess with.
wesley
reepa
13 years 7 months ago
AWSOME
Thanks Wesely, that was my pen and paper, I took your advice,
I actually wanted to put there, This is for you.
Z.S Godfrey
loved
13 years 7 months ago
People can't see with open eyes
what will they see
when as you want them to close .
their eyes
with that they will also close their mind..
but a good poem
and suggestion
your maiden poem
wesley snow
13 years 7 months ago
The maniacs here...
... just made me a mentor. I guess my work is done. I am very pleased that I could put such creative brakes on you. And it even worked. Thank you for my dedication. This goes in my archives. wesley
reepa
13 years 7 months ago
It was you
Honestly thank you.
Zane
raj
13 years 7 months ago
Reepa
what can i say about this write when seasoned poet like Wesleay has said "Stunning"..it indeed is that...with lot of depth...
reepa
13 years 7 months ago
Thank you Raj
Stunning is a big word. I am happy a poet like you can say somthing that big on something i wrote.
Many thanks.
Zane
Eduardo Cruz
13 years 7 months ago
reepa
I enjoyed this, because of the eyes being close to truly see. I am a Taoist, and the reason I close my eyes is so I can see without being trapped by the worlds domesticate of what I should see. Rather to see what my minds eye sees.
A marvalous write, it had an Old World and Eastern feeling to it.
Eddie
reepa
13 years 7 months ago
Most amazing
I loved your point of " eyes being close to truly see", My thanks. Truly
not much more to say.
I appreciate your words.
Zane