Loreli

Dec 01, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

“Lure of Lorelei”

Silky auburn hair floats like a wave
swirling round her body
in depths of dark waters.
Tendrils curling over soft belly and breasts
a seductive invitation to all who see her vision.

Green eyes capture moonbeams
piercing the dimness
with a haunting luminescent shimmer.
She beckons with the slightest of gestures,
curiosity compels them to seek more...

Her voice like that of a fallen angel,
spellbound by her presence and song
they dive deeply into a blinded kind of love.

She promises bountiful pleasures,
enticing them to abandon the sheltering shores
of safety and warmth.

She smiles, gazing as vessels smash upon concealed rocks
laying in wait for their imminent arrival.
Sailors lungs fill with her bitter cascade of jilted tears
she sighs, anticipating a vengeance which remains unfulfilled.

Behold...Lorelei’s anger at a faithless lover centuries past.
Her ghostly grasp guides gently
to the frigid darkness below, embracing them
in the river of deathly interment.

Loreli

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Loreli has been my nickname since I was a teen. I only recently looked it up and found out she is actually a german legend of a maiden jilted by her lover. Legend has it that she threw herself from a huge rock that sits in the Rhine River and haunts the area as a siren, luring sailors to crash on the rocks below. So this is my spin on the legend (only with my hair and eye color...it is my name too after all, lol)

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Michigan/USA, USA

Comments

hobo

14 years 7 months ago

Sounds like me

Men following the song of a beautiful woman even unto certian death lol that sounds like something I would do. this is beautifuly written

Loreli

14 years 7 months ago

Hopefully not Hobo!

would hate to lose you on Neo to a Sirens song! I am glad you enjoyed this, it was different from what I usually write and fun for me to try something new!

Peace!
Lori

mand

14 years 7 months ago

Your such a charmer Hobo.Lol

He he!!

mand

14 years 7 months ago

Woow and double Woow!!

This is the second brilliant poem I've read today! and it's only 9.37am Lol

Truly lovely words and imagery, a 100% word smith. No favorite stanzas, loved every one of them.

Love Mand xxxxxxxxxx

Loreli

14 years 7 months ago

Thank you so much!

I am honored by your words regarding this poem! It was on a whim that I decided to look up my nickname and found the story, then decided to write about it. I really appreciate you reading this!

Peace,
Lori

Loreli

14 years 7 months ago

Glad you liked it

You are such a master at telling a story in your poems! I don't usually attempt something such as this, but it was fun and a bit nerve wrecking to try it. So glad it turned out well enough that you enjoyed it!

Love ya,
Lori

Loreli

14 years 7 months ago

Thank you Ian

I appreciate your taking the time to read this!

As I said, it was not my usual style of writing so I am pleased you enjoyed it.

sincerely,
Lori

scribbler

14 years 7 months ago

loreli

Let us hope you are not as deadly as your namesake ...............scribbler

Loreli

14 years 7 months ago

LOL

Thanks Scribbler...so far havn't felt the need to drown any of the past men in my life!

Race_9togo

14 years 7 months ago

Loreli

I hear thine song
and search for stone
to dash myself upon

heehee

This is wonderful. I did not know this myth - thank you for that! lol - but the imagery here is marvelous.

Loreli

14 years 7 months ago

Always wanted to be a Mermaid

...so finding the legend of Lorelei was great, I suppose in a sad and twisted way, but still fun for me! LOL.

I love your response...hopefully there are no stones near!

Thank you Jim!

Sincerely,
Lori

raj

14 years 7 months ago

Dear Loreli..

reading through this write i felt sucked into the vortex of the "Calling".....the lure of its "enticement" and the depths of "passion"...a very lively write...

with much love and hugs...

Loreli

14 years 7 months ago

Raj

I am so pleased you heard the call of Lorelei! I am so different in my own life...a fairly shy and reserved person, (except when I write...) so I had fun writing this and putting myself as the siren!

Peace to you,
Lori

Kailashana2

14 years 7 months ago

All ancient myths have some

All ancient myths have some story about Lorelei-like beings.

You did your name justice.

;-)

http://nano.free.fr/lor-heineUK.htm

An interesting story and picture of the stone Lorelei http://www.sexualfables.com/Lorelei.php

Loreli

14 years 7 months ago

Thank you!

I was very excited to see the links you left me. I had not seen those sites nor read the poems. I am grateful that you felt I did the name justice!

Peace,
Lori

hippiepoet69

14 years 7 months ago

Room for another WOW?

You should write more like this. You did real good outside your comfort zone. Now take on the world. Take Care. huey

Loreli

14 years 7 months ago

LOL, thanks Huey!

Maybe not the world as yet....possibly just my state to begin with! I am just so pleased you and everyone who commented liked this. I was quite nervous about it!

Peace,
Lori