Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Dec 27, 2011
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
At Christmas Time
At Christmas time,
The windows close
And fog out
The chilly clime.
The stars in the sky,
Are burning and bright.
The children are warm
And cozy inside,
And the little match girl
Is left out to die.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Poem written for Christmas day. Now submitted to the More meter workshop.
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
William Saint George
13 years 6 months ago
Aww...
Didn't know what to expect with this one. I guess the poetic spirit speaks through people without them knowing it. I'm glad it touched you. I really am. Hope all is well now :)
weirdelf
13 years 6 months ago
Spot on!
I nearly didn't read this because of the title, but glad I did.
William Saint George
13 years 6 months ago
Thank you!
Thanks!
weirdelf
13 years 5 months ago
At Christ/mas time, The wind
At Christ/mas time,
The wind/ows close
And fog/ out
The chill/y clime.
The stars/ in the sky,
Are burn/ing and bright.
The child/ren are warm
And coz/y inside,
And the little/ match girl
Is left out/ to die.
A mixture of Iamabic and Anapestic but it all works wor me. The line
And fog/ out
is called weak iambic because it starts and ends with unstressed syllables.
William Saint George
13 years 5 months ago
I see the anapestic. It's in
I see the anapestic. It's in the last two lines right? I'm learning now!
%
docmaverick
13 years 5 months ago
Sir William....
...I read this poem BECAUSE of the title, and I am very happy that I did! This is a somewhat eclectic piece, as far as structure goes...but, my God! What a clear, concise slice of life! Too cruel.
This is a very solid effort!
Sincerely,
doc.
William Saint George
13 years 5 months ago
Thanks
Most people didn't like it, because they thought it was too sad. I wrote it as my submission to a Christmas poetry program. I'm glad you think well of it.
scribbler
13 years 5 months ago
hello
I can usually tell someone specifically why I like something. I read this the day it was posted. I liked it then and like it now but can't point out why lol.......stan
William Saint George
13 years 5 months ago
Let me drop a few hints: Was
Let me drop a few hints: Was it the message? The brevity (I like short too)?, the meter (wasn't thinking of it while writing)? lol
I'm glad you like this. I'l confess, it's one of my favourites too :D