Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Let's Pretend
Let's pretend away the shadows
and erase away the fears,
we'll find solace in the future
and let the past hold all the tears;
let's pretend for just an instance
empty moments we hadn't shared,
and both of us were interested
because both of us still cared.
Let's pretend we're in the sunshine
sipping cock-tails in the shade,
and neither you, nor I could think of
any place, which we would trade;
Let's pretend we're not pretending
or that we never thought to start;
maybe then, I could recover
from what sits only in, my heart.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
emogothgirl
13 years 6 months ago
there's really nothing i'd change...
you have a nice rythym going, the theme is directly conveyed and consistent, and i've been through that before!
nice work.
docmaverick
13 years 6 months ago
Thanx soo much dear, lovely girl, of the "mo"....
...in keeping things in prospective, it helps to know one's boundaries! I hope you haven't been through my "stuff", before....it would change a lot of the incidentals; if you know what I mean!
I DOO seriously thank you from the bottom of my heart;
sincerely,
doc.