BROKEN JINX

When a jinx is broken
Something new takes its place
From the awards so far taken
The worth puts smiles on a face
Retarded energy draws them back
Till a jinx puts a stop to it

When a jinx is broken
Shattered shackles of slavery
That held captives to be beaten
Now testify to their bravery
Ill luck suffered setback
A jinx put an end to it

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: NGA

Favorite Poets: Inspired by an article in an old manuscript , It reads:, AXIOMS OF PERFECTION, In the physical order – In the realization of the dream of beauty, In the moral order – In the realization of the dream of love, In the intellectual order – In the realization of dream of poetry, In the spiritual order – In the realization of the dream of the mystics

Comments

docmaverick

13 years 6 months ago

I see that you're still editing....

...this piece, t. rex.! I did enjoy reading this, it had a strange way of appealing to my instincts. Overall, I believe that you did a rather "stellar" job on this effort.
Thanx, for that;
doc.

t. reflexion

13 years 6 months ago

Yes, editing in progress...

I am experimenting on new forms, the caption got into my head and the jinx that blocked me is broken. Thank you for your comments and for the appeal to your instinct, best wishes.

wesley snow

13 years 6 months ago

Rather curious.

I like it. That's all. No complaints, no suggestions, just like it. wesley

t. reflexion

13 years 6 months ago

Thank you

i am glad you like this one, I have been experimenting on new forms lately. Best wishes