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Jan 04, 2012
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suggestion
I long to set myself free
push the boundaries.
Open my mind,,gain knowledge
Expand my point of view
Internal versus external satisfaction
Why not strive to be
Well informed, well read, set for adventure
With a healthy dose of pop culture.
I have achieved a mere suggestion
the tip of the ice burg,
of what i can achieve.
need to reach my potential.
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Nordic cloud
13 years 6 months ago
A healthy dose of pop culture!
This I hesitate at imbibing, some is good and some is wonderful, but much is ........
The last verse stumbled a bit for me and repeated a little too. Tip OF the iceberg? You could loose the A then it would make more sense perhaps.
Letting then let. Well I can't rewrite it but there are my points about it.
Ann
lou
13 years 6 months ago
hi
thank you, i will work on it.
lou
Candlewitch
13 years 6 months ago
Dear Lou,
I too, want to push those boundries and find new horizons! I also feel that I have barely scratched the surface in some areas. I can much relate to your poem. Sorry for the lack of critique, but I liked what I read.
always, Cat
lou
13 years 6 months ago
Cat
thank you
Love Lou