AMONG THE DUNES

Our juggernaut soon won the war
and did so in near record time
it was in peace the fight went on
and therein lies the crime

Far off in the shifting sands
along deserted dusty roads
barbarians still vented wrath
with improvised explosive loads

Did not most men welcome us
in ridding their country of Hussien
or did they just embrace the chance
of garnering some private gain

Near one hundred years ago
our blood was sent to Flanders' fields
as now it soaks the desert sands
with similar dissappointing yields

Now we leave this land of hate
and hope in ernest for the best
so too many native sons
can sleep a peaceful rest

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Ian.T

13 years 6 months ago

Stan

Have read this a couple of times, can't put my finger on it but part of you is missing from this write, I will wait for others to comment, meanwhile I have sent you a PM about the words.
Have a great day out there, Yours Ian.T

scribbler

13 years 6 months ago

hello

I know this is pretty rough but thought I needed to start Somewhere in giving tribute to those we left in Iraq.......It will be edited many times.......stan

scribbler

13 years 6 months ago

hi lonnie

Thanks. I guess this seed will eventually be cultivated into a fitting tribute over time. Thanks for the visit......stan