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loved
loved
Feb 03, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Echo on a Cliff

The horizon is far
yet not distant enough,
We surf our ways across the seas,
we fly over sand dunes
and
surpass all eventualities…

None is brave enough,
to place a boulder
nor a hand upon our shoulder,
to prevent our movement
from darkness to light

We are the torch bearers
of a midnight storm
We can create history
and
in reverie slumber,
those who thought
they were upper most,
down the cliffs of no return ,
lost in the dungeons of everlasting misery
rotting beneath the great fallen tree
Unheard! So be it.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: ROU

More from this author

Comments

Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

13 years 5 months ago

This is good.

This is good.

A boulder on our shoulder?- a little contrived poetically too.
Do we wish to be prevented from the light?
A little unclear in meaning in places.

The title is great.

Ann.

loved

loved

13 years 5 months ago

Thanks ma'am for the vist

Could you kindly suggest a better clarity?
In the portions constrained
As you say
What I want to say is
Like in Solomon and Delilah,
the slaves were made to pull stones,
Which we want others to avoid
weakening our knees,
As we seek to emerge
from the darkness to enlightenment

loved

loved

13 years 5 months ago

It is really wonderful

for my teary eyes,
to note that my ma'am
has paid so many visits

It catches
anyone's eye
hopefully

Esker

Esker

12 years 10 months ago

An interesting and exceptional work

culled away from the more expressive of your works
Vanguard ones I would call those
and there is nothing wrong with Titillating
But this one has a more serious drop zone feel
about it without it pandering into too moody
a piece of to be set aside as a forewarning work

"boulder shoulder.."
"Unheard so be it"

I really like these lines worked into the work
it has a nice classic feel to it
there is just enough of that tension in it

Thank You

loved

loved

12 years 10 months ago

gracious

you version of my work
makes me feel

like I'm a real poet

albeit a hobbyist at best..

Thanks ...this poem has been already transformed
into cards by someone
as GREETINGS

Ian.T

Ian.T

12 years 10 months ago

Loved

You see that the Poem you have edited and let resurface is very good,
I have read it a couple of times and find it has a few meanings, mostley of your fears and other things but that is poetry..
It is late young Bard so will just say great work, Yours Ian.T