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Feb 04, 2012
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28 LONG DAYS
February's too damn long
too many days of naked trees
too many days without bird song
too few bare midriffs and cute knees
I've grown tired of stretched out shadows
and weary of the long cold nights
as well as bare brown lifeless meadows
(but I don't miss mosquito bites)
I miss seeing spotted fawns
well filled nests and halter tops
clear damp dewey noisy dawns
and did I mention halter tops?
I'd like to come into my house
without tracking mud and snow
clumps big enough to hide a mouse
and deep enough for plants to grow
Man, I want to wear my shorts
T-shirts and old flip flop shoes
even if they show my warts
boy! I've got the winter blues
Where the heck's that whippoorwill?
I miss his never ending song
floating from a distant hill
February's too damned long
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Nordic cloud
13 years 5 months ago
"midriffs and cute knees," :)
Oh yes isn't it Stan, we shiver in our dens,
looking out on the white sheet of February
waiting for the bard, the painter
to flourish his pen/brush,
the birds to sing,
the sky to lighten,
the warmth to heat our toes
and yet it is only because of Winter
that we know Summer,
where they have only heat,
that is just as bad as this Winter!
"T-shirts and old flip flop shoes" This was the only line I stumbled on the rhythm with.
"midriffs and cute knees," don't you believe it,
they have miniskirts on over their trousers now
or even Summer shorts over their them,
quaint fashions are aren't they?
I don't follow such, like to make my own style
according to my mood.
Warm colours make one feel warmer,
so we got red sheets this Winter!!!! :)
As usual I enjoyed my visual tour of your moment.
L Ann.
scribbler
13 years 5 months ago
hi Ann
Just a bit of whimsy I jotted down................stan
Nordic cloud
13 years 5 months ago
Got it.
Get it, got it, Danny Kaye.
Ann