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Feb 10, 2012
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Each day
Each day I breath anew
With every moment I smile
In my heart I sing
Your laughter holds the world
My hand carasaed in yours
Theres butterflies in my stomach,
Love in my every move
Your arms are my escape
Come see me fly
Help me soar
Be my modivation
Love me forever darling
Watch me smile
Live my life
Be my one and only baby
About This Poem
Last Few Words: 6 months today...
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Candlewitch
13 years 5 months ago
Hello Alice,
In L5: did you mean to say caressed?
in L6: theres should be there's, the contraction of there is
L11: modivation did you mean motivation?
A poem expressing lovely warm sentiments!
I hope I have helped.
always, Cat
Alice Ember
13 years 5 months ago
Thank you
Thank you, i was writing this up on my kindle..and well auto correct doesn't like me. Thank you again.
weirdelf
13 years 5 months ago
ewww!
Love poems are so tricky. They tend to cliché and you haven't avoided that trap.
It's mostly well written but it feels like a woman giving away her power.
You ask him for permission to express your love and power. Instead, grrl, take it!
This poem makes me really sad.
My hand carasaed in yours caressed your power.
He has no power over you unless you let him.