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My Make-Shift Diary... Confessions from an almost not so Teenage Soul
What would it be like to take a broken and hurting soul and to put it with another broken and hurting soul? Prehaps Reality would compound their hurt and brokenness and together this duo would just be there to feel sorry for themselves together and maybe organise a mini-mass suicide. Not exactly like a Romeo and Juliet broken hearted tragedy - maybe a little more. What would hurt and brokenness be worth if it wasn't there to stretch deep into the realms of your inner soul and challenge you to rise up again. Face another day. Give you hope that this is as low as you go and now you become stronger. Now you fight to survive. Now you fight for your dreams.
But what if you didn't have to do it alone? What if you took a broken and hurting soul and you put it with another broken and hurting soul and together they make each other whole. He leads her off to the dance floor; twirls her round and round and in turn she stares into his eyes; touching his lips with her fingertips. It's all going to be alright. I'll make you laugh again. This hurt and brokenness is there but to stretch deep into the realms of our innermost souls and challenge us to rise again. Together we'll face another day. This is as low as we go and now we become stronger. Now we fight to survive. Now we fight for our dreams - together, come, I'll hold your hand. And in healing him she heals herself. And in loving her he learns to love himself.
Okay... SNAP OUT OF DREAM MODE!!! These love stories only ever work out in 'Vampire Diaries' and 'Greys Anatomy' There is no girl. There is no guy. There is no unconditional love. Or if there is... Reality thinks it best to save this love story for another day.
A hurting and broken soul just makes you too vulnerable; makes love dangerous. Because it immobilises your common sense and makes you so drunk that you can't even walk in a straight line anymore. Then, the moment some stranger does something nice like help you up, your double-vision makes you see something that is not there. The moment is not right. The circumstances are not right. And usually, I would bet a 100$, the person just IS NOT RIGHT.
But you know, typical human, the big red button says: DO NOT PUSH! But we push it anyway. Our desperate loneliness turns us into paracitical drug addicts. We claw onto him and suck him dry without him even knowing it. We build up mountain-heaps of expectations - dreams, hopes, wedding cakes; go crazy on the thrill of adrenalin-love. But soon enough Reality pops in to tell us what we already know: he was just being nice.
And so the ice-berg crashes into the Titanic or does the Titanic crash into the ice-berg? The beautiful ship plummets into the dark seas of non-existence and so does Jack; leaving behind poor ole Rosie stuck on the little raft even more broken-hearted than before and to top it all: freezing her pretty little bum off. "G-g-goodb-b-bye Jack-k-k. Ill n-never let g-g-go Jack-k-k."
Love is best left alone once diagnosed with a broken and hurting soul. Stick to psychologists - they're obliged to be nice and hold your hand; which is bound to make the wedding cake taste a little too synthetic - so at least you know that you wont ever be falling in love with them.
(19 May 2010)