scribbler

Feb 22, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

SILENT DEATH

Man! I've got a gassy dog,
a dauchund shaped just like a log,
who likes to lie about and fart.
He's got it right down to an art.

Silent but deadly is his way
(he could run a skunk away).
Maybe it's a sign he's older;
his gas has gotten worse and bolder.

All the walls are now off-white,
no longer are they pure and bright,
but we save on insecticide.
The bugs that don't die run and hide.

He can empty out a crowded room
quicker than the clap of doom
a methane type of tidal wave
enough to send you to your grave.

Sniff....well there he goes again,
so I'll hold my breath and strain
to get out another line
before I have to.............aaaaarrgh!

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

weirdelf

13 years 5 months ago

Love it!

Not wussie at all and hilarious, yet with depth, yes, depth, he is nearing death and you have incorporated that sad fact so subtly. A fine poem.

scribbler

13 years 5 months ago

Hi Jess

If it makes you smile it achieved its goal lol. Just remembered I promised to post a social commentary poem. Reckon it'll have to wait for tomorrow now.............stan

scribbler

13 years 5 months ago

hi Mark

Just shows poetry can explode from anywhere lol...........stan

Nordic cloud

13 years 5 months ago

..a fun comic strip or short film.

And I have just written about a fart, from an old lady but the dog got the blame!!
You wag Stan, good fun.
Dachshund? We had one called Missy, or "Miss Otis....regrets she's unable to lunch today, Madame...etc" I know the character of them, darned independent and very loveable.
Would make a fun comic strip or short film.

Ann :)

scribbler

13 years 5 months ago

Hi Ann

Our dog is named Oscar as in Oscar Meyer Weiner dog lol. Glad you got a chuckle..........stan

Candlewitch

13 years 5 months ago

Dear Stan,

He can empty out a room
quicker than the clap of doom
a methane type of tidal wave
enough to send you to your grave

my cats fart too! it is worst when they are in my lap and let one of those silent but deadly ones loose! It permiates the whole room! Phew...

good poem!

always, Cat

scribbler

13 years 5 months ago

Hey Mark

Don't expect we'll have to wait too long for a gaseous cat poem...........stan

scribbler

13 years 5 months ago

Hello Cat

Cat litter boxes are bad enough without the gas addition lol...........stan

weirdelf

13 years 5 months ago

A Montey Python sketch

"Busy day! Just spent 3 hours burying the cat, silly thing wouldn't keep still, but I was was going on holiday to Tidbury and you would want to find a dead cat, would you?"