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TIME'S TOLL
Was it ever really here?
that running ground for hare and deer,
a perfect mix of dell and wood
where hickory, oaks and larch all stood.
Land which rolled from flat to steep
cut here and there by gullies, deep,
divided by a marshy stream
so peaceful... it now seems a dream.
But that was in those younger days
recalled now through years of haze;
the memory may be mere ideal
yet it doesn't have that feel.
I last set foot here years ago
and watched gray squirrels put on a show
as whistling wood ducks flew on past.
I thought that it would always last.
Now it's all paved with asphalt,
greed and growth I guess at fault.
The world and folks I knew back then
are gone as if they'd never been.
But standing here by my old truck,
I'll rejoin them soon with any luck.
With me will die these memories
like autumn leaves on a cold breeze.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Candlewitch
13 years 4 months ago
Dear Stan,
Great title, In my opinion. Your words flow with the rythem of your heart. I feel the loss and longing. Progress stinks, in most areas. But we are a nation of overcrowding and exesses.
Really like this
But standing here by my old truck
I'll rejoin them soon with any luck
with me will die these memories
like autumn leaves on a cold breeze
always, Cat
scribbler
13 years 4 months ago
Hi Cat
I'm only 58 but the number of people and places that I treasured from days of youth are rapidly dwindling. Good of you to stop by........stan
wesley snow
8 years ago
Only 58?
Only?
Geez, that's my age and I feel ancient.
Beautiful poem by the way.
You get better all the time, but I noticed that you posted a slew of them all in a row. How did you get the machine to let you do that?
scribbler
8 years ago
lol
Check when poem was originally posted. I'm now 63 and still editing even old stuff lol. It is an unfortunate quirk in neo's system that brings poems back on stream every time they get even a tiny edit. So I limit myself when in a mood to edit so as to not flood the stream.You know maybe the quirk is a good thing because it shows this is workshop type site lol.
wesley snow
8 years ago
Never hesitate to repost.
It means I get another shot at reading the poem.
scribbler
8 years ago
You must mean
Another chance to be abused lmao. I used to edit as many as 20 at a time then realized that doing so completely filled the stream and thus kept new poems out of view