moving man

if you have never defiled anyone's couch
you're not an angry moving man
the twenty-dollar tip running from your nose
heavy refrigerators you couldn't lift
in the crook of your back
the cast iron sarcasm of chipped porcelain
paydays missing you on those windy days
like runaways laughing, blown into a thousand tight spaces
with calloused hands
going from place to place they leave you
another empty room

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Comments

Nordic cloud

13 years 4 months ago

one could go to bed for a week

Blimey and you don't need the Imagery workshop Orphani,
yours is so full that I am exhausted by it, in all terms of imagery.

In so short a poem you make anyone feel old.
OOO love much of this:-
"twenty-dollar tip running from your nose"
"the cast iron sarcasm of chipped porcelain"

in flight the pay days, it so intensely exciting
and gives us so many associations that one could
go to bed for a week and still be entertained with it.

Nordic cloud :)

Orphani

13 years 4 months ago

The Robins return home..

The Robins return home...hanky panky and powder blue eggs...isn't life great? Miss you sister Ann.
Imagery has never been a problem for me; marrying it to the heart of the poem, as one expression of truth, is my challenge.

Cheers B

Esker

13 years 4 months ago

Read your "shoe bridges poem"

and now this
amazing imagery
rugged in its steps but alive with
darkness and bright blinding hope

I lived with people
all their house in storage
I moved alone most times
was easier this way
unless you know the ways
most ask too many
questions
people like that you want
to put on the southbound
end of a freezer going
down the stairs

most cant hustle
I did it once and can
"paydays missing you on those windy days"
a most amazingly vibrant stark line

I love that

Thank You!