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A polite shell
Coming from a closed shell she mistook for privacy,
present in rooms but never remembered.
“There you are—
how long have you been here?”
As if she had just arrived instead of always being.
She lived like a shadow—
not because she had to,
but because silence fit better than attention.
In corners, she learned people—
eyes sharp like a falcon’s,
collecting truths she never spoke.
Apologies lived on her tongue,
even when no one asked.
And somehow, that quiet life felt safe.
Until she chose someone.
A friend—or at least,
something close enough to risk.
Then came the voices, louder than her thoughts,
pulling her out of herself.
Step by step,
she left the shell behind for a wider world
full of smiling faces that didn’t always mean it.
That was where she learned
how heavy a word like betrayal can be.
How it sits uninvited in your chest.
And suddenly,
the silence she once feared felt softer
than everything she had found outside it.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Critiques
Geezer
1 day 18 hours ago
Welcome to Neo...
I got this one right away; I remember from the days when I used to take many photographs with my old 35 mm camera. I would sit in an inconspicuous place in the room, and just watch the people in it; catching many unseen shots. People would often say, "I don't remember you taking that picture." That was the idea, to take a picture of them being just who they are. I like the quiet, introspective way this is told. I felt that the line:
Apologies lived on her tongue,
even when no one asked.
gives the sense of a person wanting to be overlooked like the little bowing Chinaman, "So sorry, I am not important." I wonder what made that a priority? What did she observe that made her want anonymity?
Nicely done, ~ Geezer.