Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Handicapped
https://www.facebook.com/share/v/18pkxbGDzm/
H..H.. HANDICAP
Walking ..walking..
Asleep in a hot summer dream
Thinking..looking
At a smile beam
A flower in my heart what does it mean
In the night through the serpent bike lane
Trees whispering around in my ears
A moon in my eyes as a gleam¹
I love deep poetry she said and your rhyme
First night love, the second could never seem
She writes novels of a princess traveled the time
Traveled the space, melted in the middle as cream
She was black as a hole bending all the light
In her horizon of non return I was pulled and unseen
A spooky quantum woman at a distance
Training hard at the fitness
Until I lost my charge and my mass
My heads spin down spin fast
I failed the life in every class
And I become the Handicap of the town
Everytime I truck her number
The delivery is on the way never known
“Amine..Amine..” who is ? I can't see!
“Do not be afraid it's me
Look around, look up the sound look profound”
Jesus peace upon thee‽
White horse rearing higher
I smelled the flower a little stound²
Petals greened again brighter,
Water bubbling from the ground
He is back.. he is not
He is back.. he is not³
No more petals, I throw the flower
The Messenger is back to break the knot
The pillar of salt and the tower
I can be, I can see, I can do more than a lot
Handicapped..Handicapped not
H..h.. handicapped but my heart it is not
Amine YACOUBI
Montreal April 02, 2026
1. Gleam: hope
2. Stound: moment
3. the daisy: The game "Loves Me, Loves Me Not,", or by its originalFrench name "Effeuiller la marguerite," is a simple game of chance traditionally played to determine if the object of one's affection reciprocates those feelings.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Rough draft
Critiques
neopoet
1 week 3 days ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem as presented consists solely of a hyperlink without any accompanying text or poetic content. To provide meaningful feedback, it would be helpful to have the actual poem's text or a description of its themes and structure. If the poem is multimedia or performance-based, consider including a transcript or a summary of its key elements. This will enable a more thorough and constructive review.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to our contact form.
patrickgadoury
2 days 3 hours ago
Spooky Quantum
I followed the link too, and that helped me read this with a bit more care. Knowing this comes out of immigration, faith, loss, your mother, and trying to refind yourself in Canada, I can see why the poem moves the way it does. It feels like a fever-dream where love, body, faith, disability, and survival are all fighting in the same room.
The line that stuck with me most was “A spooky quantum woman at a distance.” That’s strange, but it has charge. My only real issue is that sometimes the poem throws so many big images at once that I lose the thread a bit. The flower, Jesus, the white horse, the quantum stuff, the delivery, the pillar of salt, all of it has power, but maybe too many doors are open at the same time. Still, I respect the heart in this, and the fact that you’re not writing from some fake clean place.
Join Neopoet to leave a critique
Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.