Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
May 31, 2026
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
You make me smile.
I glance at you with a minute of stare.
Walking by you everywhere.
We stop with a steady stand.
You held my hand with no demand.
We chatted in a voice with sensational words.
Hummingbirds heard standing on the curb.
People walked behind us slowly lingering.
It sound like our conversation was giggling.
When we open our hearts with friendly thoughts.
Our souls was taught to be loved or not.
Yes I care about meeting you here.
I'm very aware that we could compare.
You make me smile
Poem by Sybrett Jenkins
— sybrettjenkins816, May 31, 2026
Share this poem
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Please like and subscribe.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Critiques
neopoet
2 days ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem captures a tender moment of connection and the subtle joy that comes from shared presence. The theme of gentle affection is clear, but there are areas where clarity, rhythm, and grammatical accuracy could be improved to enhance the reader’s experience.
1. **Grammar and Syntax:** - "I glance at you with a minute of stare." The phrase "a minute of stare" is somewhat awkward. Consider revising to "a brief stare" or "a momentary glance" for smoother flow. - "Walking by you everywhere." This line feels incomplete or unclear. Is the speaker walking by the person everywhere, or do they see them everywhere? Clarifying this would help. - "You held my hand with no demand." This is a strong line; it conveys gentle affection well. - "It sound like our conversation was giggling." Subject-verb agreement issue: "sound" should be "sounds." Also, the metaphor of conversation giggling is charming but could be made clearer or more vivid. - "Our souls was taught to be loved or not." This line has grammatical issues ("souls was" should be "souls were"), and the meaning is somewhat ambiguous. Consider rephrasing for clarity and impact.
2. **Imagery and Word Choice:** - "Hummingbirds heard standing on the curb." This line is confusing. Are the hummingbirds standing on the curb, or are they hearing something? Since hummingbirds don’t stand like humans, perhaps "hovering" or "fluttering" would be more accurate. Also, "heard" may be a typo for "here." - The poem could benefit from more vivid sensory details to deepen the emotional resonance. For example, what does the setting look like, sound like, or feel like?
3. **Structure and Flow:** - The poem is composed of many short lines that sometimes feel disconnected. Consider grouping related ideas into stanzas to create a stronger narrative or emotional arc. - Some lines could be tightened to improve rhythm and reduce redundancy (e.g., "We stop with a steady stand" could be simplified).
4. **Overall Suggestions:** - Revising for grammatical accuracy will make the poem easier to read and more polished. - Clarifying ambiguous lines and enhancing imagery will strengthen the emotional impact. - Experimenting with stanza breaks and line lengths could improve the poem’s flow and musicality.
In summary, the poem’s heartfelt theme is promising, but refining language, grammar, and imagery will help the sentiment resonate more powerfully with readers.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to our contact form.