Fallen Soul ( updated)

I wondered how you would end this poem.

"Contrition his eternal torture." Befitting, quite befitting, Lou.

~

like to see you expand on this one. You lead us on with a description of a tormented soul, but we never have a clue as to why. The word you want is spelled bear. Unless you meant that he bared his immortality to the world. Love to see more of this, ~ Love ya, ~ Gee

Don't take this wrong but as the writer of tormented souls you are the best...............scribbler

I would love to see this piece expanded! My favorite lines:

He wanders a solitary road,
a desolate soul,
the abandoned one

I think that at sometime in all of our lives we all can relate to this! Brilliant write!

love, Cat

Lou,

I thought I recognised this from your book. Since I am aware of the story and the characters, I don't need it expanded upon, but I guess others unaware of your story need a little more information to make it work.

I think you should include this in your [prologue]...would make an excellent addition to it. Actually, thinking about it, I would leave this version you've written as the prologue, and then use the whole piece (assuming you are writing some more stanza's) in the [epilogue]...would kind of round off the story in one. All you have to do now is write the novel!

Good poem, great introduction to the book.

Good job indeed,

HS

I liked this one.

Didn't realise it is about a character from a book you are writing, but the poem has almost a "Lord of the Rings"-ian sort of fantasy fiction feel to it. The protagonist could well be a fallen character from that.

Nicely done.... dark... and grey ash everywhere...

Psyve