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More Meter

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Love Lies, Bitter/Sour

Promises with sentiment,
selflessness portrayed;

lustful motives so, hell-bent
with the goal of getting, laid.

Only half with earnest hearts,
the other half don't care;

but, they're the ones throwing the darts,
with such accuracy, it isn't "fair"!

Sorrows coerce, heavy hearts to break
as unions fade away;

bonus points, are what they "fake",
when there's nothing left to say.

Each time-line turns, bitter/sour
sadness, refusing to stop;

as eyes turn lifeless, by the hour
hopes, and dreams, begin to drop!

Then afterwards, those whom endure
when "push", comes down to "shove";

they're the ones whose hearts are, pure;
because they're truly filled with, "love"!

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: The High Desert, in the wild west, southern California, U.S. of A.., USA

Favorite Poets: Keates, Poe, Dickinson, and Dr. Seuss. There are a smattering of others, but why bother listing 'em all, ya know?, I also rely on a few of our poets, here....for advice, and what not. I couldn't possibly explain what a fountain of live, effective knowledge we have...right here in our midst ! To catch a glimmer of brilliance, merely visit: the Stream.

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Comments

Starlight

Starlight

13 years 2 months ago

wow

i really liked this! the pattern was spot on and it speaks truth.

docmaverick

docmaverick

13 years 2 months ago

It would seem; fair Lady, Starlight....

...that you, sweet dutches.....possess a "truer", etherical way of viewing certain things, wouldn't you say?
Either that, or you're just a very, old soul.
Thanx....for the encouragement. We need it at every stage of our lives, so that we can better cope; with who each of us are.
You're a gem,
doc.

docmaverick

docmaverick

13 years 2 months ago

Thanx, soo much, Ms. Tommi....

...I was delighted that you found "favor" with my poem ! (You, with such a discerning eye...and all)!
I must apologize for not responding much, much sooner; but, my computer was tragically, and unfairly treated poorly; (In a "cosmic"...sort of way!)
At any rate....I thank you, once again;
docmaverick.