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Apr 15, 2012
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Us and It
there is one truth
that radiates from each and everything,
it lingers in hungry eyes,
it bleeds through with blood of a beaten wife,
it's in the stink of burnt rubber and
it's reflected off of shattered glass
it's in the rain drop molecule on each blade of grass
it's in the warmth of homeward love
in the simple breath we take, each day
it's in the contour of the fray
it's in each prayer we pray
it's in each word we say,
the one truth,
radiating through each and everything
is the soul of us, a collective being.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction: [This option has been removed]
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Tommi Cordial
13 years 3 months ago
very nice
i like how this one leaves a little to believe in even in disbeleif.
weirdelf
13 years 3 months ago
"Please do not critique mechanics.
The inconsistencies in style are intentional, or correcting them is not important to me."
Is a shut-down, cowardly option. Poetry is a sum of all its aspects. Mechanics don't have to be correct, they can be chaotic, but they still merit critique if you have any interest in improving your craft.
So although I think the poem has potential, I can't give you the critique that could help you improve it.
MDT
13 years 3 months ago
....
Im no coward, its just once its written thats it...i don't care to improve it, its merely just an expression of thoughts, once recorded, whats the point in rectification...the next will be different, better or worse..it doesn't really matter to me...my craft will improve none-the-less. Thanks anyhow.