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Feast of an Apple Bite

Asked by them that shaped him
Out of the clay of a garden,
To dream big beyond the spheres and stars
All he dreamt of left him with eternal scars
For after partaking in a feast of a single apple bite
Whiles romancing an enchantress under a strange fig tree
Paradise mightiest cast him out of sight
To savour the harshness throes of the night
In a world that welcomed him warmly
With a cloak woven from his own curses.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Volta / GH, GHA

Favorite Poets: Kofi Awoonor, Kofi Anyidoho, ... :(

More from this author

Comments

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

13 years 1 month ago

Hello Wonder Golly,

From this I get you are writing of the creation of man and his temptation. Very well done. Creative title! I cannot find a word or line I would change. I really liked this:

To savour the harshness throes of the night
In a world that welcomed him warmly
With a cloak woven from his own curses.

always, Cat

W

WonderGolly

13 years ago

Candlewitch, hi

how you been? thanks for identifying with this piece and I appreciate your comments. Was reading the creation story one time and thought I wove a few word about it into poetry. Thanks again.

I apologize for taken long to respond. I having troubles coming online - inconveniences in time. but I promise, as soon as I find some firm footing. I'll bounce right back. lolz. Stay blessed.