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The Superior Moment (Prose Revision)
I tend to think in past and future.
My thoughts travel beyond the realm of this moment.
The superior moment is happening now.
The next moment is still in question, the past one is lost
My energy is wasted on what has happened and what will occur,
in the omnipotent future.
I can seize the now by living, loving and experience it,
without further thoughts of what was or will be.
That for me is true freedom.
What I will learn is now; it will then pass and be used later.
The thoughts of many voices debating in one space,
seem to falter on solid ground.
The outer collective intrudes on the inner collective conscience,
with materialistic thoughts which clog the reasoning.
What I need is small and of no value to the outer consciousness.
The silence in my head is the only thing of true value,
in this Superior Moment which I am living,
NOW!
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Taoist thinking...
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
weirdelf
13 years 1 month ago
If you want to call it prose
it really would make more sense to format it as prose.
Let's see that then I'll read it.
Eduardo Cruz
13 years 1 month ago
Jess,
Agreed!
believe
13 years 1 month ago
good but
I Like the idea,
but the first stanza and the second one had me confused, as they seemed to conflict meaning,
but then I understand what was intended, by the word "Superior" on the 2nd stanz-
So i think I got it,
This could have been a little clearer for me,
but otherwise
yeh great!
Eduardo Cruz
13 years 1 month ago
Clarity
reintroduced.
scribbler
13 years 1 month ago
hi
The problem of writing about "now" is that as soon as it's typed it's gone lol. I think you might retitle this as poetic prose or free verse as prose is written with punctuation and in the same manner as this comment if I'm not mistaken................stan
Eduardo Cruz
13 years 1 month ago
Stan,
You are not, at that just passed. LOL
weirdelf
13 years 1 month ago
This is what prose looks like
I tend to think in past and future. My thoughts travel beyond the realm of this moment. The superior moment is happening now. The next moment is still in question, the past one is lost.
My energy is wasted on what has happened and what will occur, in the omnipotent future. I can seize the now by living, loving and experience it, without further thoughts of what was or will be.
That for me is true freedom. What I will learn is now; it will then pass and be used later. The thoughts of many voices debating in one space, seem to falter on solid ground.
The outer collective intrudes on the inner collective conscience, with materialistic thoughts which clog the reasoning. What I need is small and of no value to the outer consciousness. The silence in my head is the only thing of true value, in this Superior Moment which I am living, NOW!
Yes it is prose, Eddie, and good interesting prose. No way of breaking into lines really changes that.
Eduardo Cruz
13 years 1 month ago
Jess,
Thanks for the return visit, I hear you. I just thought to break into the thought of each paragraphs for continuity.
Eddie
weirdelf
13 years 1 month ago
to me, this was an expression of your philosophies, my friend
and well written.
Now write some poetry.
Eduardo Cruz
13 years 1 month ago
Jess,
It absolutly is just that.
I am not looking for followers, I am just voicing my thoughts on the simplicity of it. I try to avoid stress, but never a good logic arguement.
thanks again Bud.
Eddie
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