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Jun 01, 2012
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INNER TURMOIL
After the auspicious consideration
given to this procedure I am left with no choice
I am to fight the same fight
handed over to me
at birth
No one asks
for such responsabilities in life
Thats why it's detremental
in our existence
to abide by simple rules
Produced to conform the unconformable
Seemingly made to be broken
Unspoken thoughts invade
my surroundings
Binding us with guilt
of things that were never finished
Not wanting to hear of the time needed
only that we have succeeded
Weaving webs
Complicating the simple
WE make the obvious
Oblivious
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I just wrote this on 5-25-12 Letting myself know I, ME am the one who makes difficulties in MY ME MINE MY WORLD! Thought someone else may have the same disease lol
Review Request Direction:
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
weirdelf
13 years 1 month ago
My kind of poem, productive introspection, you deep girl!
Thats why it's detremental
That's why it's detrimental
WE make the obvious [caps are distracting, unaesthetic and superfluous, your words contain the power.]
PRECIOUSLYSET1
13 years 1 month ago
Im still learning how to be "reader friendly"
Im not very good at writing my work
as "reader friendly"
When I write its all one continuous thought
Thank you for the support!
We as a people tend to doubt ourselves
especially if we are the only ones telling ourselves
about ourselves lol
Esker
13 years 1 month ago
give it away give it away
and take it all back
revolving thoughts sent out
echo location
wavelength reverb
kick it
even when its quiet
self the only retreat the only bunker
the only love sometimes
when all else for me was to not be trusted
but tested
inspected
sent away
and wanted back
poetry for me is a maze of words that someday I may
accidently "walk" myself out
if only I knew the angles
I shall keep reading
and enoying poetry
like this
Thank You
Nordic cloud
13 years 1 month ago
with a touch of Micawber :)
"When I write its all one continuous thought"
I quote you from above, I agree with the same manner
of writing myself, and it shows here, we follow the trail
easily and revel in the meanings you expose so well,
as if we had tossed up a coin and are waiting to see it
land to understand. Wonderful poetry,
with a touch of Micawber :)
Ann.