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Prodigal Past
looking backward
from a comfortable perch
my life wobbled wildly
on a self centered search
with dumpling brain
and mouth to match
I clumsied my way
on stumbumbling ass
brayed poly-syllabically
at steady bread folk
slobbered venemous opinions
at the tethered and yoked
now finally at rest
I mumble thanks to all
the stout level headed
who buffered my fall
these pillers of stability
salts of the earth
now keep me anchored
to a rock
About This Poem
Last Few Words: for meter and rhythm's sake, the last line could be extended to read "to a rock solid berth" , but I like the ambiguity as it reads in the present form. What do you think?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Roscoe Lane
13 years 1 month ago
Only,
Only change i'd make is last line, first verse, (on a selfcentred search). Other than that i think it's perfect. Regards Roscoe..
brittle light
13 years 1 month ago
I really liked your
I really liked your suggestion...sets up, defines, and clarifies the situation so much better, and have made the change.
mind your own word choices also..".perfect" should seldom be used, especially concerning anything about me!
thanks for your generosity
sinccerely