judyanne

Aug 04, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Bionomics

The verge emblazoned once with brush and trees -
the road to visit childhood - desolate
Encroaching farm undressed the land to seize
the verge emblazoned once with brush and trees
Here ignorance has caused the human species
to clear the land, allow the salt to make
the verge emblazoned once with brush and trees -
the road to visit childhood – desolate
.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: A triolet is a poem of only eight lines with a rhyme scheme ABaAabAB. It's usually written in iambic tetrameter … I have used pentameter….

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story

Comments

BlueDemon77

12 years 11 months ago

Judy, they say you can never go back....

Hi Judy,
I relate with this poem greatly. Once I leave a place for years and come back, it seems a husk. All the people and the spontaneous, the youth, is gone. I deal with it several times a year when visiting my Dad, when I see that it is all gone. I know that it is gone for me, but very much there for those young who are there now for that cosmic tone and unexpected magic. I'm cool with it. Well written poem, thanks so much Judy!

Ron

judyanne

12 years 11 months ago

hi ron

yes - one can never go back, and this could be read with that subtext

but the main story is that i went to visit my hometown for its 100th anniversary (we are a young country are we not?) after not having being back for about thirty years... we went out to our old farm, and the verge of the road that used to be thick to the fence-line with trees and bush and wildflower was bare – as a desert.... i was shocked...

it wasn't a purposeful thing - just simple ignorance of clearing in those way past years - they just didn't leave enough trees to maintain the soil... so sad - i nearly cried..

the other day i was looking at a photo I had taken, and this popped out :)

thanks for the great review..
love judy
xxx

Ian.T

12 years 11 months ago

Judy

It is sad that we neglect our old places but we are very lucky in the UK as we usually find more growth and bigger hedges along the old ways..
They have new machines that seem to manicure the highways.
We have a new area here that is going to be a future forest, companies adopt roundabouts and plant things there plus a little advert but the plants are the main thing.
I am glad that I live here in "England's Green and pleasant land"
I would love you to be able to see it, I know the Grand canyon is beautiful and many other things that are so big but I is only little,
Yours Ian.T

judyanne

12 years 11 months ago

thanks ian

the uk hs the advantage of great growing climate
we here in australia have to be very careful how we treat the land methinks

love judy xxx

Ian.T

12 years 11 months ago

Judyanne

Even though this England is full of growing things, it is the change that is hard to take.
I took my son to where I use to roam as a child and the distance had shrunk and the woods were smaller and the changes were so cruel they trid to destroy my childhood world..
I wrote a poem "The Valley" when I was 15, about a place we would go to, it was an old Iron mine dig it had a small to me Lake there and small trees it was a Valley in miniature which fitted into our sizes at that time.
I have Google Maped the area it is just a flat field now and it was such a shock to see what they had done. I looked to my inside and there was the valley as before held forever in my mind, this is where many things go that others seem not to think of as they so called progress.
I think that so much more could be done in Australia it is a beautiful place but world greed and money have taken over reality and compassion.
If only they could see that the money system we have is corrupt and will not last for ever, there will be more value in a cabbage growing in a field than a gold bar in a bank, my love to you all out there, Yours Ian.T

PS:- It is Sunday and the pulpit was empty LOL
Gold is one of the best conductors of electricity we have at the moment and it is stored in stupid secure banks LOL

judyanne

12 years 11 months ago

thanks lonnie

for the read and thoughts and kind review
love judy xxx

judyanne

12 years 11 months ago

hi lonnie

thanks so very much for the very kind words
speaking of not remembering a lot of places.... lol - i can't remember yesterday anymore :)
love judy
xxx

Rula

12 years 11 months ago

Loved the form and the title

is really intriguing (and new for me). and the form just goes hand in hand with your theme Juddy. I might try it one day

judyanne

12 years 11 months ago

they are fun to write rula

you should have a go

thanks for the kind words
love judy xxx

Geezer

12 years 11 months ago

A very interesting choice...

of meter for a theme that has been done and done. It made it feel even more of a lament and I got the idea of it all with far fewer words than one might have. ~ Gee

judyanne

12 years 11 months ago

thank you very much gee

for the very supportive review
so glad to hear you call it a lament... i think it shows that choice of form can make an important difference to a write ...

love judy xxx