lou

Dec 16, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

7 Days

Day 1

I vow at the beginning of each week
That I'm not going to let the world get to me,
I'm centred and free.

Day 2

I feel my blood begin to simmer.
My finger is on the trigger.
I just know someone will piss me off, soon.

Day 3

Calmness is my middle name,
but underneath the trigger is half cocked,
and my finger is getting itchy.

Day 4

My prediction becomes reality
the tossers of this world unite,
and make my blood boil.
I discharge an angry bullet

Day 5

There are idiots everywhere,
they are crawling out of the woodwork
just begging to be mowed down,
by a verbal assault,

Day 6 and 7

The big guns are out
There is open warfare,
A massacre in this town.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West London, GBR

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda , Jack Kerouac, Alan Ginsberg, D.H Lawrence, Jim Morrison's lyrics,

Comments

Psyve

14 years 7 months ago

Lou,

I enjoyed this read.
Liked the way you describe frustration simmering, boiling and exploding... all in the span of a typical week!

P.S.
Careful....I see the bulge in your cheek, where your tongue is resting....
( or is that just the pin of the grenade you just pulled with your teeth?)

Psyve

lou

14 years 7 months ago

Psyve

Hehe,

i'm pleased you understood my intention.

Lou

mand

14 years 7 months ago

Ha ha

Excellent! I bet there will be alot of this over christmas. lol

Loved it to bits

Love Mand xxxxxxxxx

P.s remind me not to annoy you. Lol

Geezer

14 years 7 months ago

piss you off, but in verse two, you leave the track and say [him] instead of me. I often feel like this, and now that I am trying to quit smoking, so that I can breathe, it's even worse! Being short of breath, on top of being short tempered, is no fun. Great work! ~ Gee xx

lou

14 years 7 months ago

Gee

Thank you

Love Lou x

Kailashana2

14 years 7 months ago

Hahahaha. I like your stuff,

Hahahaha. I like your stuff, kid.

I think I would like to read: 'this town is about to be massacred' (for the last line.)

Remind me to tiptoe through your word mines except on Mondays.

Smile.

Hooded Stranger

14 years 7 months ago

Lou

Lou,

knowing the week you've had already I can understand where this great piece came from.

From an OCD point of view you need to put a line between Day 1 and the verse, like all the others. My OCD is twitching and I won't sleep until you've done it!!...otherwise my week will end like yours began!! Lol.

I liked the way day six rolled into day 7...I often find my days running into each other.

I really enjoyed this one.

You did throw me with this line:

"I just know someone will piss him off, soon" - who is the 'Him' in this piece?

regards,

lou

14 years 7 months ago

Hs

I'm happy that you enjoyed it, the him in this piece is yet another typo lol

Yes iv'e had a bit of week

Lou

Hooded Stranger

14 years 7 months ago

Lou

Lou,

it looks great now, I will be able to sleep better knowing there is a gap between Day 1 and the verse!!

Lol!

Hope you have a better week next week...although we are due lots of snow, so it probably will be a cold and bleak one!

regards,

lou

14 years 7 months ago

HS

HS,

the snow will keep me at my desk, so i hope to write more.

hope your week goes well to.

lou

14 years 7 months ago

Yeah

Watch out don't piss me off lol

Lou

scribbler

14 years 7 months ago

7 days

It takes you an entire week ti grow tired of idiots? As you get older, you'll find that this time will shorten lol.............stan

lou

14 years 7 months ago

Stan

Stan I can get annoyed with people much. More quickly than 7 days

Lou

Eduardo Cruz

14 years 7 months ago

Lou,

I love this one, I wrote something like this about a year and a half back, I think it's in limbo in the old site, maybe it will be resurrected. just waiting on the Gods of tech. I love to see that it is hard to control anger when everyone keeps pushing, so we're all in the same boat armed to the teeth. Hahaha!
great write Bud
Always Eddie

lou

14 years 7 months ago

Eddie

I'm not a violent girl but, sometimes I'd like to bust a cap in someone's ass lol

Louise

ziggy

14 years 7 months ago

hi there

well hello there I'm well over due a read from you
I never thought of writing a poem about a week,day
by day, sounds like one not to remember ,
I like the ending ,,,,zigs x

lou

14 years 6 months ago

Ziggy

your a good friend

Lou